Heartless Valentine

Valentine’s Day is now a few days behind us. The stores still packed with overly sweetened, artificially colored candy and aisles of signs colored with some shade of red or pink or magenta.

As you can tell, I haven’t been a real fan of Valentine’s day or as many still refer to it as Valentime’s Day. No, I don’t correct anyone who says the latter. Call it what you want! I don’t even know the real meaning of the day and am too disinterested to look it up. Call me ignorant. I’ll take it.

Anyway, I write today about another term that was also popular for February 14th — Galentine’s Day. Now this term, I can dig it. But do women still rally around each other in their single-dom to show each other love?

My friend (we’ll call her Maggie) pinged me at work and asked if me and my husband had plans for Valentine’s day and I thought it was only right to answer and then ask her the same question in return. Yes she is single and not dating but I thought it only right if someone asks you how you are doing that you ask them the same question in return. I don’t know the etiquette around this. I haven’t been single in a loooong time. My husband and I have dated for more than 10 years, so I’m clueless.

Back to my situation… So I ask Maggie What are your plans for Valentine’s Day.” She answers, “Nothing. No plans.” There is this guy that she is “friendly” with and she says that he hasn’t made any plans yet. That made me angry! Not that he didn’t make any plans but that she was waiting for him too! My advice, GO MAKE PLANS. I don’t care if you just choose to get your fave ice cream and Netflix and chill by yourself but GO MAKE PLANS.

Another friend (we’ll call her Maggie), told me she was going out with friends. YESSSSS!! I was so happy to hear this response. Her and her girlfriends were going to the movies to see a sappy love story but nonetheless it brought a smile to my face. GIRL POWER! (BTW, I love sappy love stories).

Fastforward to February 13th, Madeline’s friends text through groupchat and say they want to bail on the movie. It will make them sad because they will be un-coupled surrounded by couples. But the movie theater is DARK and you are supposed to be looking at a movie. A big fat thumbs down. But WAIT. My friend tells me they have other plans in mind. Plans to go out to a bar in hopes of finding a man. Girls you do NOT want to pick up anything on February 14th. The wrong type of men are lurking in bars just waiting for the women who ooze of this level of thirstiness and despair🤦‍♀️ on this day in particular. BAD IDEA!

What happened to the days when you and your friends could just go out and have a good time. Go out dancing for fun! Or have a girls night in and order Chinese food and wine and laugh and gossip until you fall asleep. This is my idea of a Galentine’s day. A day to surround yourself with love and laughter. I don’t mean love from someone you are lusting after but love of friends or just loving yourself. Maybe I’m so far removed that I just don’t quite get it.

I have just one piece of advice for my single friends and to my married friends as well –Because Lord knows being married does not make you exempt from these situations. Please learn or find that thing that fills you up. That thing that makes you content and happy. That thing that no matter what commercialized holiday or Hollywood love story you see, you can always refer to it to bring you back to a realm of satisfaction.

For me it’s music and dancing and a good binge-worthy series on Netflix, Hulu, or Bravo. When my boyfriend (now husband) was out of town and my friends lived miles away I would dance in the bathroom with my speakers blasting , pretending I was Bruno Mars on stage in front of thousands. This made me happy.

There will be times when no one is around to make plans for you. So YOU make the plans. You plan the dinner or the picnic or visit the zoo by yourself. Just sit on a bench an people watch. That in itself will supply its own entertainment.

There will be times when He or She or They cancel on you after you’ve gotten all dressed up. *Raises Hand* I have been here more times than I have wanted. Do NOT sit in the house. Let the masses view your makeup skills, or that nice new outfit. Show off your hard work and don’t let that 45$ cologne/perfume you put on, go to waste. Love yourself enough to treat you like you want to be treated.

Baffled but I still love you.

ME DATE: Have a full on concert in your bathroom mirror or Shower. Be loud and obnoxious and sing from your gut! Don’t be shy.

ME ADVICE: Don’t depend on anyone to give you the time and care that you don’t give yourself. Take care of yourself first and those around you will follow suit. If they don’t, then raise your standards of those who you surround yourself with.

Suggestions for next Valentine’s Day

  1. See a play
  2. Watch a movie in the theater or at home
  3. Ballroom dance lessons (you don’t have to have a partner)
  4. Relax — Yoga, Massage, etc
  5. Stroll in the park or be a tourist in your own -town
  6. Visit Family
  7. Make Dinner, Order Take-out, heat up your fave frozen pizza
  8. Try something new like a Pottery class
  9. Write down your goals or do a vision board
  10. Burn your ex’s photos or mementos. Let’s call it a Cleanse 😉

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